The motorcycle cop is
giving you the third degree , the assembled throng are screaming
for your blood
and you are most definitely late for the tour bus pick up.
It's then that your mobile goes off and the voice at the other
end shouts,
"Where the rass are you?"
You recognise the voice as the voice of the tour manager.
You try to explain to him the problem you are in, but you get
nowhere.
So in the end you hand the mobile to the motorcycle cop who quizzes
him as to who he is and where does he fit into this situation,
as time ticks on.
15. Realisation dawns
on the motorcycle cop's face and he realises that you've been
telling the truth all the time.
Your name is taken and you are informed that you will be contacted
at a later date to assist in further inquires.
He then hands you back your mobile.
16. You are now left
with the problem of how are you going to get you and your baggage
to the pick-up point.
You are explaining the problem to the motorcycle cop when an ambulance
turns up.
It screeches to a halt and the paramedic jumps out with a neck
brace in hand.
She tries to wrestles you to the floor to fit it.
You fight a rear guard action trying to fend off the paramedic
as she is telling you that the reason that you are so agitated
is the fact that you are suffering from shock.
So it not the fact
that you are extremely late for the pick up.
You have just had a shouting match with your other half.
You have debts up to your eyeballs.
Your home phone and mobile have out going calls barred.
You have just been in an car accident caused by the refugee mini
cab driver from hell.
There is a mob baying for your blood for what they believe you
have done to their cars.
The whole world seem to be conspiring to prevent from going on
tour and a lunatic paramedic is trying to strangle you.
So you finally fend off the paramedic and continue the conversation with the motorcycle cop.
17. Just when you thought
that it couldn't get any worse another police vehicle turns up.
This one is a Rapid Response Unit and they are mob handed
(the van is full of policemen).
"Problems?"
shouts the copper sitting in the passenger seat as from out of
the back of the van streams a line of evil looking mothers with
batons in hand.
"Yes!" answers the motorcycle cop.
The mothers are just about to wade into you when they are stopped
by the motorcycle cop and he explains that the problem he was
referring to was not you, but about you.
That is, how you are an innocent victim of circumstance.
He then enters into hushed discussions with the driver of the
van and you are surrounded by the mothers who start protecting
you from the irate mob.
The fox guarding the chickens comes to mind.
You suddenly remember the 'half' that you have hidden in the drum
kit and as you look around at all the wicked, you start to become
'Para' (slang for paranoid).
Is it not strange how
people who were never present when something happens all of a
sudden have vivid recollections and instant recall to the incident
in question.
You hear persons unknown shout from the middle of the mob that
not only you were the driver of the mini cab;
You
were also the one that mugged their dear old mother.
Broke into their house and stole their family jewels.
Been seen selling dope to the little school kids.
Definitely the man wanted for rape.
The spitting image of the man seen on 'Most Wanted'.
The man that shot J.F.K.
18. The motorcycle cop
returns and tells you to gather up your things and to go with
into the back of the van.
Your life flashes before you. You have heard of people who have
gone into the back of Rapid Response Unit vans never to re-emerge
the same.